Well, it all stared by my birth.....but I was just foolish enough to let it go through my eyes. I came to notice it when I watched a movie called "The Secret". Surely, I won't be explaining anything over here, because people are skeptical. Respecting their opinion, I would just refer those who are interested in knowing what the secret is, to watch the movie and experience it for themselves.
All right!
Now where should I start?
Oh yeah, Arsenal, as always .... Well, they have not being playing upto the mark....IN THE LEAGUE that is! People usually forget their EUROPEAN form. Beating A C Milan, in San Siro was a herculean task, which was accomplished by a KID .... MIRACLE KID ..... THE SPECIAL ONE ... its FABREGAS. He's the killer.....he looks innocent....and he can KILL you in your game, if you slip a little. Poor Milan, never judge a person by the way he looks....Fabregas proved it to them. He never lets go of a challenge. And he'll prove it again tonite.
So, that's that about Arsenal.
Oh yeah, I'm working now. Yeah, to take some experience with me, down under. (Sajna Ve - Bombay Rockers - prompting me to write about her :D I'll do that later in the post)
So my new job is with THE BEST - GE Money .... man.....I feel closer to Edison.....he invented GE.
That's what keeps me busy now. I hate sitting and doing nothing. This fills the void in my life, as Pragya said.....dunno where has she disappeared to. No contacts. Anyways, that girl knows how to take care of herself and also of others beside her :)
Oh yeah, I'll mention the people who contact me daily. Yeah, pretty less....other than those in GE, Of Course.
1. Juhi Chawla
No, not the actress. She's my cousin. haha
Well, she writes to me daily....and her mails usually end with "I Hate You" .
Haha....and I know she doesn't mean anything by that. Dunno why, but she still feels that I hate her in any way.
Lolz.
I found it out long ago, People in this world are living in their own world.
She topped her tenth, 94% ... just like Aastha. Exactly the same percentage!
She's been bugging me to come to Jaipur , and she fails to understand that if I take a leave, the company will THROW me out! Anyways, I will go there in June, that'll please her..and she knows that.
She's got two siblings...who are the cutest of all. Ria and Rishabh. I'm dying to meet you guys, I'll be in Jaipur soon enough.
Alright....So, I guess that's all I know of the MYSTERY COUSIN as of yet :D
2. My Good Friends :)
Bailey (whos almost always on a holiday), Ritu, Vidu, Amit and everyone else.
They always make me smile (esp Bailey and Vidu - though they don't get together very well)
So yeah, they'll always be with their phones and talk to me whenever they can :)
Nobody gets bored between all of us ... haha ... There's always a bit of news coming from either of them .... and it helps me a lot in some cases :D
Lalli said he'll be coming in May....and Viren's here for some days....cz Ronnie's going to Japan (bastard, he is...I bet he'll get some girls there as well :P)
Anyways, we're going to have a gala time in May....and that's when I'll be free almost all time of the day! I'm waiting for July, still.....*sigh*
3. Elisha Kant
Not DAILY, but once in a week.....and off classes. She's living my dream (DAMN). She 's attending U TORONTO. What a place to be! Man....all the snow and the stuff!
I came to know she's a professor in things she knows, and SHE HATES CALCULUS....how weird is that? Got that, Lalli? She hates CALULUS! Remember how interesting the Differenciation problems were?
Okay, So she's helpful, cheerful and M.A.D
Haha
But she helped (is still helping) me with a very precious matter so I'm very Grateful to her! :)
And I owe my interest to Hip-Hop (however small it is) to her.
Her team loses and mine draws, so none of us is happy in that matter :P
Hope we see better days!
THREE FACED GOD
Alright, I thought I should post it here....the three faced god who is the most special to me. People regard them as mortals. But I know, they are more than just mortals, no less than Jesus.
I know, I might be hurting sentiments, but I am in a land of free speech and thought. And I am, in no ways saying that The Almighty is any less. I am merely a mortal, who regards three people higher than mortals.
I think I have made my disclaimers, and I am ready to go on ...
1. Thierry Henry
Never seen a soul like his. He's so committed to the ones who respect him. And to those who don't, He pays heed, and always tries to win their confidence. He is always trying to better himself. He made a statement that he would love to see Arsenal triumph everywhere, although he will try his best with Barcelona to beat them. A man's greatness is measured by the trust he shows to his fellow people. And that's what Henry has in him. I would want to meet him before he vanishes in The Holy Light, the same way he appeared.
2. Atif Aslam
I dunno how people dismiss him as a great singer. He speaks the voice of heaven. He knows about it all. Listen to his songs, and you'll recognize the difference from other singers. Its true....do try it. I'm now posting anything else.
3. The God is not always a 'He'
She is no less than a god. She'll make you pay for your sins and if you ask forgiveness, you'll be forgiven to live a happier life. I am too blessed to have any sort of communication with The Almighty and I live to tell the tale. :)
I am posting this for now.
As always, comments are always welcome. :)
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
alright! so i take time out of my busy (:D) schedule to post another entry here. Dunno if anyone reads this or what....but still, i Love my blog! haha...i recommend it to anyone who knows me.
I had many visitors this month, and the half of January. I'll post them under heading as usual. I'll start with the first ones first. That's it, I am beginning now, and if you aren't extremely free, please don't read it. Its going to be total crap (Arsenal's in second position, and I don't know what could have been worse than this!)
1. Sahil Goyal A.K.A Lalli
So! Mister PORNSTAR comes back to delhi from IIT guwahati. And guess what, he has brought his collection of porn with him, that bastard! He even wanted ME to watch that! SHIT!
8 porn DVDs aren't a small thing! haha....but he's like that! Never gets tired of checking out girls. Even his cousins for that matter! He's kicked some serious ass in the first sem. Like always, mister PADAKU (studious). He got seriously ragged in the hostel...good for him! All IITians are effin GAYS! He told me that! his seniors want to see naked freshers....that's it. .... and that is justified....with gals that look like guys in almost all ways, they are very desperate! haha
Man, that place would have killed me! anyways, lalli called me up, 3rd Dec. I was shocked....i wasn't expecting him to show up before calling...so that was idiotic.....he shud have atleast TOLD me! We didn't waste much time...went to play the very next day. I met Mulla after much time too, cz everyone wanted to see the slimmer version of Lalli (if u climp up 10 flights 4 times a day, you'll get slim). And we went to 4 movies too, i guess. Not all were nice, but its always fun with Lalli ridiculing the movie all the time! lolz....i HATED that 'dus kahaniya' ... i'll KILL YOU for that VARUN! Let's move on....
2. Viren Bhanot A.K.A Bhanno A.K.A The 'Mystery' Guy
Well Well Well! Mr CFC shows up on glam slam sunday! Arsenal vs Chelsea on, at Lalli's place....and who shows up? BHANNO!
Arsenal won that day, he sulked all the time! ahha...i LOVED it!
anyways, we had a pizza treat by sahil from Pizza Hut....it was MUCH time, since I last had pepperoni.....maybe that's why mum says I wont be any problem abroad! haha. Bhanno showed up his supersonic-speed laptop (being sarcastic, {nice song - Yaaron dosti..., situation based!} and i know someone else who isn't happy with her laptop, i'll come to that later)
Anyways, he showed me how Ubuntu works. All nice, nice. He eventually lost interest in the match after William Gallas put the ball behind Tal Ben Haim...and became increasingly interested in "Call Of Duty -2". That's just natural....
3. Sid Kumar A.K.A Bailey
When did he go? everyone was saying that!
But Bailey doesn't let anyone miss him much, so he came back after just a month! But missed ya, dude....United made liverpool suck that day....haha....nice day for united too. Bailey and Kunal (his cousin) usually fight on United Vs Pool games, supporting different sides. He called up, as he had JUST landed in Delhi. He was very badly ragged....infact, i should call it 'harassment'! His hair like a neat mat again....and his freekicks, still perfect. sigh...he's a beckham replica, if you ask me....ZERO outfield, majestic free-kicks! So, we all were together again!
4. Samarth Dhingra A.K.A Ssssssssssssssssssmarth
Well, he went without even saying BYE. And he came without saying HI....that's how our IITian is!
He's following his bro's footsteps, VMC, then IIT, and then IIM maybe.....dunno....he's the studious lot too....
He's grown enormous and his hair have been longer than ever! He was a good cricket player too, i came to realize just now.
now, i guess i should mention some relatives too!
1. Niti Bua
It was months ago when I last saw her, and her gifts always come in handy [:D] so i was looking forward to meet her! Arpita Di didn't come due to her lousy job and so there wasn't anyone to tease around. It was a short visit though...just a week! I didn't get any chocolates, but I got some really cool quilts....considering the 'winter' of delhi.
2. Chikki Di
6 years....it had been, since she left India for the states. Man, i wish i wud have gone too. It was almost certain, until this STUPID thought of getting into IIT crept in my mind! Doesn't matter now, anyways, as long as i am going away from here! Ankit hadn't come along, so i still didn't have anyone to play with. But Chikki di is still the same....no change in accent, lifestyle, thinking, nothing! I, personally hope, that i go under a HUGE makeover in a short time...heehee. She had got some peanut butter too (SKIPPY'S!!) but those damn dickheads of the airport authority at the US airport made her throw it away....SCREW YOU, JERKS! Anyways, she came home for just three hours, and she'll come back for 3 more hours on 20th. Looking forward to that visit...
3. Elisha
Well, for one thing, she's supposed to be my cousin, although the fact, that i have never ever seen her :D or heard of how she is :P ... anytime in my life...
When mum told me that Sunil Mamu's daughter is coming, i refused to go to the airport( cz i thot she wud be around 25-27, and pretty boring - i was to find out later, quite the opposite :D)
I heard mum talking with her on the phone, and i thot ... she doesn't sound like 25 ... heehee. When mum dad were talking about her age and academic qualifications ( i know, parents always do this) i found out that actually i was a bit elder! WELL! that was a shock alright!
She was supposed to come to delhi and stay for two days (Like other visitors....she spent almost all her vacation elsewhere ... and i just got to say the goodbyes [X(] ) . See my luck, that got even shorter....haha....anyways, we got like, 10-11 hours which include 4 hours sleep. I had an IELTS in some time, and i was hoping i got an accent like hers overnight [:D]...that would do wonders for me! Miracles hardly ever happen in my life, and it didn't happen....sigh....
Anyways, that was that.....even though every visit was short, I miss each one of them now....I'm stuck here....ALONE AGAIN! AARRRRGGH!!
I don't have anything to do, and NO ONE TO TALK TO! HMPPPH!
i am just DYING FOR JULY.....HURRY UP, JULY!
I got some good news few days ago. I might be spending two months in Jaipur with Arpita Di, Juhi, Ria n Rishabh....wow....that sounds fantastic.....atlast....i'll have some FOND memories to take with me.....lolzz
ANyways, that's all for this post.......crap...isn't it?
Dun mind....I told u in d start itself! haha
CHEERS!
and do LEAVE COMMENTS!!
(even boo's are welcome)
I had many visitors this month, and the half of January. I'll post them under heading as usual. I'll start with the first ones first. That's it, I am beginning now, and if you aren't extremely free, please don't read it. Its going to be total crap (Arsenal's in second position, and I don't know what could have been worse than this!)
1. Sahil Goyal A.K.A Lalli
So! Mister PORNSTAR comes back to delhi from IIT guwahati. And guess what, he has brought his collection of porn with him, that bastard! He even wanted ME to watch that! SHIT!
8 porn DVDs aren't a small thing! haha....but he's like that! Never gets tired of checking out girls. Even his cousins for that matter! He's kicked some serious ass in the first sem. Like always, mister PADAKU (studious). He got seriously ragged in the hostel...good for him! All IITians are effin GAYS! He told me that! his seniors want to see naked freshers....that's it. .... and that is justified....with gals that look like guys in almost all ways, they are very desperate! haha
Man, that place would have killed me! anyways, lalli called me up, 3rd Dec. I was shocked....i wasn't expecting him to show up before calling...so that was idiotic.....he shud have atleast TOLD me! We didn't waste much time...went to play the very next day. I met Mulla after much time too, cz everyone wanted to see the slimmer version of Lalli (if u climp up 10 flights 4 times a day, you'll get slim). And we went to 4 movies too, i guess. Not all were nice, but its always fun with Lalli ridiculing the movie all the time! lolz....i HATED that 'dus kahaniya' ... i'll KILL YOU for that VARUN! Let's move on....
2. Viren Bhanot A.K.A Bhanno A.K.A The 'Mystery' Guy
Well Well Well! Mr CFC shows up on glam slam sunday! Arsenal vs Chelsea on, at Lalli's place....and who shows up? BHANNO!
Arsenal won that day, he sulked all the time! ahha...i LOVED it!
anyways, we had a pizza treat by sahil from Pizza Hut....it was MUCH time, since I last had pepperoni.....maybe that's why mum says I wont be any problem abroad! haha. Bhanno showed up his supersonic-speed laptop (being sarcastic, {nice song - Yaaron dosti..., situation based!} and i know someone else who isn't happy with her laptop, i'll come to that later)
Anyways, he showed me how Ubuntu works. All nice, nice. He eventually lost interest in the match after William Gallas put the ball behind Tal Ben Haim...and became increasingly interested in "Call Of Duty -2". That's just natural....
3. Sid Kumar A.K.A Bailey
When did he go? everyone was saying that!
But Bailey doesn't let anyone miss him much, so he came back after just a month! But missed ya, dude....United made liverpool suck that day....haha....nice day for united too. Bailey and Kunal (his cousin) usually fight on United Vs Pool games, supporting different sides. He called up, as he had JUST landed in Delhi. He was very badly ragged....infact, i should call it 'harassment'! His hair like a neat mat again....and his freekicks, still perfect. sigh...he's a beckham replica, if you ask me....ZERO outfield, majestic free-kicks! So, we all were together again!
4. Samarth Dhingra A.K.A Ssssssssssssssssssmarth
Well, he went without even saying BYE. And he came without saying HI....that's how our IITian is!
He's following his bro's footsteps, VMC, then IIT, and then IIM maybe.....dunno....he's the studious lot too....
He's grown enormous and his hair have been longer than ever! He was a good cricket player too, i came to realize just now.
now, i guess i should mention some relatives too!
1. Niti Bua
It was months ago when I last saw her, and her gifts always come in handy [:D] so i was looking forward to meet her! Arpita Di didn't come due to her lousy job and so there wasn't anyone to tease around. It was a short visit though...just a week! I didn't get any chocolates, but I got some really cool quilts....considering the 'winter' of delhi.
2. Chikki Di
6 years....it had been, since she left India for the states. Man, i wish i wud have gone too. It was almost certain, until this STUPID thought of getting into IIT crept in my mind! Doesn't matter now, anyways, as long as i am going away from here! Ankit hadn't come along, so i still didn't have anyone to play with. But Chikki di is still the same....no change in accent, lifestyle, thinking, nothing! I, personally hope, that i go under a HUGE makeover in a short time...heehee. She had got some peanut butter too (SKIPPY'S!!) but those damn dickheads of the airport authority at the US airport made her throw it away....SCREW YOU, JERKS! Anyways, she came home for just three hours, and she'll come back for 3 more hours on 20th. Looking forward to that visit...
3. Elisha
Well, for one thing, she's supposed to be my cousin, although the fact, that i have never ever seen her :D or heard of how she is :P ... anytime in my life...
When mum told me that Sunil Mamu's daughter is coming, i refused to go to the airport( cz i thot she wud be around 25-27, and pretty boring - i was to find out later, quite the opposite :D)
I heard mum talking with her on the phone, and i thot ... she doesn't sound like 25 ... heehee. When mum dad were talking about her age and academic qualifications ( i know, parents always do this) i found out that actually i was a bit elder! WELL! that was a shock alright!
She was supposed to come to delhi and stay for two days (Like other visitors....she spent almost all her vacation elsewhere ... and i just got to say the goodbyes [X(] ) . See my luck, that got even shorter....haha....anyways, we got like, 10-11 hours which include 4 hours sleep. I had an IELTS in some time, and i was hoping i got an accent like hers overnight [:D]...that would do wonders for me! Miracles hardly ever happen in my life, and it didn't happen....sigh....
Anyways, that was that.....even though every visit was short, I miss each one of them now....I'm stuck here....ALONE AGAIN! AARRRRGGH!!
I don't have anything to do, and NO ONE TO TALK TO! HMPPPH!
i am just DYING FOR JULY.....HURRY UP, JULY!
I got some good news few days ago. I might be spending two months in Jaipur with Arpita Di, Juhi, Ria n Rishabh....wow....that sounds fantastic.....atlast....i'll have some FOND memories to take with me.....lolzz
ANyways, that's all for this post.......crap...isn't it?
Dun mind....I told u in d start itself! haha
CHEERS!
and do LEAVE COMMENTS!!
(even boo's are welcome)
Friday, September 28, 2007
COVERING UP....
OHKAY! Its been a while since i parked my butt into the chair and typed like frenzy. I had so much work on my hands. Its finally all over, the exams, and all the stupid stuff, but its over now. Im more than just relaxed. I've been through the best stage of my life as yet. All that i wanted was going on all right. And that includes EVERY SMALL thing!
I'll get them together in points which will be easier for everyone to read:
1. ARSENAL
Man, what a start to the season! A dream start for Arsene and his boys. They are unbeaten in the league, and i wish they are going for another season, undefeated. Fab n others have been so meticulous on the field. Unmatched, they look invincible. This includes the 3-0 thrashing of Sevilla, which otherwise are a very good team. They also over-ran Newcastle United, the magpies. A sorrow moment for them, as Michael Owen has gone to the stretchers again. man, i miss him. Anyways, even without Henry, they are playing like champions. Henry, you'll get the goals, keep your cool, man! You still are the best forward of the world! That stupid Ronaldinho has no work in Barca now, Leo Messi will take care of the playmaking stuff. he can go shite somewhere else. Chelsea lost their precious Mourinho, much to the dismay of Viren. lolz
i wanna see the look on his face. Enough for soccer, or I'll keep going on forever. Let me turn to other points.
2. Songs
Man, I've gone crazier. I've started listening songs that I hated before. I can't help it! Their wordings are so-so true! Man, it feels as if everyone in my condition has appeared out of nowhere on the world. Everyone's helplessly in love. lolz. its all so stupid. BUT!! BUT!! BUT!! Its great to be in it. I mean, atleast there is one person apart from you that you care about. and eventually, you care for her even more than you care for yourself! You start to get hallucinations that she's in some sort of danger, or whatever! I feel crazier than ever, but elevated than ever too! These songs help me get along well. I usually grab up Vipin's phone in class, I aint least interested in the lectures, they are SO BORING! Stupid....I just care about the logic (remember something?) Anyways, I've started liking hindi songs too, it seemed improbable a few months ago. The english are etched in my skin, they wont go away anywhere but still...Hindi take away the cake in some places. Moving on.....
3. Cricket
Well, guess what, a week before the start of Super eight in T20 world cup, i wrote in my orkut "about me" section that i wish India wins the world cup atleast once as i can't stand the stupid sorrowfull faces of millions of Indian cricket fans. well, IT GOT ANSWERED!! And i came to know another thing from that world cup. Actually two, one is, that AUSTRALIAN CRICKETERS ARE A BUNCH OF SORE SISSY BOY LOSERS WHO GO CRYING TO THEIR MOMMY'S IF THEY LOSE ... BASTARDS! and yah, the second thing....man .... SHE likes CRICKET!! how weird is that! i never thought of such a thing! I mean, come on! She luks so damn SERIOUS! I feel that if i say something wrong, she'll hit me or summin.....She likes cricket.....i still haven't got over that thing! YOU ROCK, GAL! Now, before i drift away in her thoughts, lemme continue.....
4. My friend AMIT
Man, i still feel like an idiot when i think why i fought with him. We've been buddies so long, I never even gave that a thought. Well, forget all that, we've had our pact, and buddies again. Screw the world, man....there was just so much tension around my birthday this time. And the stupidest and most weird thing, that she wished me for the first time in my life. I never hoped it to go this way. I thought it could have been a touch better. 10 messages and 5 calls doesn't just do it. It was pretty gloom at the time. With Lalli and Viren gone, school no more, i just miss hanging out. No more Bailey wisecracks and no more insulting teachers on their backs. College is going on fine but i guess i ain't still adjusted to all that. Maybe I'll get over that once....never mind, dad says we cycle our friends every 5 years.....but the school friends stay......man, i just wish my life would be just normal. It is, at the moment, swinging in the extremes. Now, i'll move to the last and MOST important point.
6. AGAIN, ITS HER
I aint giving out any details here this time...it's too personal; not to me, to her. i ain't betraying her for anything! She's too priceless to be lost. Well, considering that I don't have her, and don't have any intention of having her. I'm too careless and I'm afraid I might break her tender heart. ironic, isn't it? She's my world, and i ain't wanting the world. That's how it goes. I just want to be away from all this, oblivious...But as I stated, I get stupid dreams....and i'm forced to turn back. Lolz...not the kindaa song that i hoped to start (Blow me away - breaking benjamin started)
The song's about a guy who's asking God how to survive In a hell that he thought to be heaven. There's a line...."ONLY THE STRONGEST may survive" man, i love this line. I don't think i'm the strongest....infact, i'm the weakling here, doing nothing. Cz i ain't in a position to do anything. You know, whenever i try to help, i just end up in a position much worse than what i was in before. I don't still know, how to save her soul, what will please her or anything. I wish i could be a bit more informative!
PEACE! I'm sure she'll find a way out and quickly too! She's got the world's best friends. i still am amazed by the caliber she has of selecting friends. She's so precise in doing that. I wish i inherit that trait from her in any form. That'll help me so much in life. She told me to have a positive frame of mind....sorry, gal.....i haven't managed to MAINTAIN that yet....it still keeps dawdling here and there. I'm just counting down time till the funeral you can say ... :)
ALL RIGHT!
so, that's the end of it all.....interesting, eh? LEAVE COMMENTS!
I'll get them together in points which will be easier for everyone to read:
1. ARSENAL
Man, what a start to the season! A dream start for Arsene and his boys. They are unbeaten in the league, and i wish they are going for another season, undefeated. Fab n others have been so meticulous on the field. Unmatched, they look invincible. This includes the 3-0 thrashing of Sevilla, which otherwise are a very good team. They also over-ran Newcastle United, the magpies. A sorrow moment for them, as Michael Owen has gone to the stretchers again. man, i miss him. Anyways, even without Henry, they are playing like champions. Henry, you'll get the goals, keep your cool, man! You still are the best forward of the world! That stupid Ronaldinho has no work in Barca now, Leo Messi will take care of the playmaking stuff. he can go shite somewhere else. Chelsea lost their precious Mourinho, much to the dismay of Viren. lolz
i wanna see the look on his face. Enough for soccer, or I'll keep going on forever. Let me turn to other points.
2. Songs
Man, I've gone crazier. I've started listening songs that I hated before. I can't help it! Their wordings are so-so true! Man, it feels as if everyone in my condition has appeared out of nowhere on the world. Everyone's helplessly in love. lolz. its all so stupid. BUT!! BUT!! BUT!! Its great to be in it. I mean, atleast there is one person apart from you that you care about. and eventually, you care for her even more than you care for yourself! You start to get hallucinations that she's in some sort of danger, or whatever! I feel crazier than ever, but elevated than ever too! These songs help me get along well. I usually grab up Vipin's phone in class, I aint least interested in the lectures, they are SO BORING! Stupid....I just care about the logic (remember something?) Anyways, I've started liking hindi songs too, it seemed improbable a few months ago. The english are etched in my skin, they wont go away anywhere but still...Hindi take away the cake in some places. Moving on.....
3. Cricket
Well, guess what, a week before the start of Super eight in T20 world cup, i wrote in my orkut "about me" section that i wish India wins the world cup atleast once as i can't stand the stupid sorrowfull faces of millions of Indian cricket fans. well, IT GOT ANSWERED!! And i came to know another thing from that world cup. Actually two, one is, that AUSTRALIAN CRICKETERS ARE A BUNCH OF SORE SISSY BOY LOSERS WHO GO CRYING TO THEIR MOMMY'S IF THEY LOSE ... BASTARDS! and yah, the second thing....man .... SHE likes CRICKET!! how weird is that! i never thought of such a thing! I mean, come on! She luks so damn SERIOUS! I feel that if i say something wrong, she'll hit me or summin.....She likes cricket.....i still haven't got over that thing! YOU ROCK, GAL! Now, before i drift away in her thoughts, lemme continue.....
4. My friend AMIT
Man, i still feel like an idiot when i think why i fought with him. We've been buddies so long, I never even gave that a thought. Well, forget all that, we've had our pact, and buddies again. Screw the world, man....there was just so much tension around my birthday this time. And the stupidest and most weird thing, that she wished me for the first time in my life. I never hoped it to go this way. I thought it could have been a touch better. 10 messages and 5 calls doesn't just do it. It was pretty gloom at the time. With Lalli and Viren gone, school no more, i just miss hanging out. No more Bailey wisecracks and no more insulting teachers on their backs. College is going on fine but i guess i ain't still adjusted to all that. Maybe I'll get over that once....never mind, dad says we cycle our friends every 5 years.....but the school friends stay......man, i just wish my life would be just normal. It is, at the moment, swinging in the extremes. Now, i'll move to the last and MOST important point.
6. AGAIN, ITS HER
I aint giving out any details here this time...it's too personal; not to me, to her. i ain't betraying her for anything! She's too priceless to be lost. Well, considering that I don't have her, and don't have any intention of having her. I'm too careless and I'm afraid I might break her tender heart. ironic, isn't it? She's my world, and i ain't wanting the world. That's how it goes. I just want to be away from all this, oblivious...But as I stated, I get stupid dreams....and i'm forced to turn back. Lolz...not the kindaa song that i hoped to start (Blow me away - breaking benjamin started)
The song's about a guy who's asking God how to survive In a hell that he thought to be heaven. There's a line...."ONLY THE STRONGEST may survive" man, i love this line. I don't think i'm the strongest....infact, i'm the weakling here, doing nothing. Cz i ain't in a position to do anything. You know, whenever i try to help, i just end up in a position much worse than what i was in before. I don't still know, how to save her soul, what will please her or anything. I wish i could be a bit more informative!
PEACE! I'm sure she'll find a way out and quickly too! She's got the world's best friends. i still am amazed by the caliber she has of selecting friends. She's so precise in doing that. I wish i inherit that trait from her in any form. That'll help me so much in life. She told me to have a positive frame of mind....sorry, gal.....i haven't managed to MAINTAIN that yet....it still keeps dawdling here and there. I'm just counting down time till the funeral you can say ... :)
ALL RIGHT!
so, that's the end of it all.....interesting, eh? LEAVE COMMENTS!
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
A NOVEL!!???
yeah, thats right. i'm writing a novel. and it aint romantic. it has some emotions, and its a story of a boy who reaches out to his destiny
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
THE WORST DAYS OF MY LIFE - A NEW BEGINNING
The past few days.... ( means the months of november and December) have been particularly worst for me. I kept a diary entry for three times (long enough) to keep track of those days. Those who know me, know this, and i would like the world to know this, please exit if you sincerely do not care to get depressed, read the other postings, they are better than this one. I'll begin now, without any more ado.
THE FIRST POSTING
Dear Diary,
I know I don't write often to you, but I dunno why, today, I felt the immense urge to share my feelings with someone. This inaugural of my entries is a very sombre one. Today, the only person i care for (read: cared for) ignored me like shit. I dunno what made her do that but I know one thing for sure. I have been wrong about myself. I'm very screwed up in life, I don't seem to achieve anything at all : average in studies, average in sports, average personality, and below average looks. I can't seem to find anything good in me. That's why I have started my life, and will surely end it, as a sore loser. People around me don't like me. I'm the laughing stock of the class, can't even seem to get myself going; and to top it all, i can't study because of her. I mean, man, she's about 60% of the time on my mind, and the rest is in mathematics and football. I rarely do other subjects (unless it involves some research or something like that). My friends take me as a person who is a variated thinker, but guys, if you read this, you got to know that you are wrong. I am a case even worse than Viren's (at least his favorite team wins {arsenal have made this thing easier for me now...GO! GO! ARSENAL!!} ) It's all downhill for me, I'm afraid. From the past two years, I've been like this. I was just enjoying my life, in tenth standard, and Sam was a big part of it (miss your company, Sam). Some people say that I should be an optimist. But, come on man, you need some result to be an optimist. I wish that I could really tell this to her, I am just too dumbfounded to even call her, and I don't want to do it anymore, I just can't stand to be laid back anymore.
I know that my future has to be bright, but you know, I am going to be as much depressed anywhere, be it the chair of the CEO of electronic arts. Because, in school, I wasted my life. I pray to god to convey my message to her, because if I find something wrong, I'll just kill myself. I want to plead to the people who know who I am talking about, to convey this to her if you can.
THE SECOND POST
Dear Diary, Sorry to have not conversed with you for the last few days. I was, in the least to say, busy. I am needless to say that Varun was quite helpful to me. He is constantly asking me to express myself. I am pretty much scared of her, but that fear has reduced a little bit. Anyways, who doesn't like a bit of music in a graveyard!
HAHAHA!! I want to laugh out aloud! I must be seeming to you like a human chameleon, but then, I am that way! The sole purpose of me writing this diary is just that I want someone to whom I can speak out to. Nobody wants to hear about someone else, with the exception that I can spend whole of my life hearing HER! (aaw! come on! that was just madness!!) You must be wondering that I should be a politician!. I have some thoughts on Diwali (to change the topic, I was just too messed up to continue). This is supposed to be a festival of lights, right? Well, it seems to me like a festival of all types of pollution to me!. I hope this cracker business is certainly crapped up for good! Otherwise, we are already heading to making this planet as freaking polluted as it can get!
THE FIRST POSTING
Dear Diary,
I know I don't write often to you, but I dunno why, today, I felt the immense urge to share my feelings with someone. This inaugural of my entries is a very sombre one. Today, the only person i care for (read: cared for) ignored me like shit. I dunno what made her do that but I know one thing for sure. I have been wrong about myself. I'm very screwed up in life, I don't seem to achieve anything at all : average in studies, average in sports, average personality, and below average looks. I can't seem to find anything good in me. That's why I have started my life, and will surely end it, as a sore loser. People around me don't like me. I'm the laughing stock of the class, can't even seem to get myself going; and to top it all, i can't study because of her. I mean, man, she's about 60% of the time on my mind, and the rest is in mathematics and football. I rarely do other subjects (unless it involves some research or something like that). My friends take me as a person who is a variated thinker, but guys, if you read this, you got to know that you are wrong. I am a case even worse than Viren's (at least his favorite team wins {arsenal have made this thing easier for me now...GO! GO! ARSENAL!!} ) It's all downhill for me, I'm afraid. From the past two years, I've been like this. I was just enjoying my life, in tenth standard, and Sam was a big part of it (miss your company, Sam). Some people say that I should be an optimist. But, come on man, you need some result to be an optimist. I wish that I could really tell this to her, I am just too dumbfounded to even call her, and I don't want to do it anymore, I just can't stand to be laid back anymore.
I know that my future has to be bright, but you know, I am going to be as much depressed anywhere, be it the chair of the CEO of electronic arts. Because, in school, I wasted my life. I pray to god to convey my message to her, because if I find something wrong, I'll just kill myself. I want to plead to the people who know who I am talking about, to convey this to her if you can.
THE SECOND POST
Dear Diary, Sorry to have not conversed with you for the last few days. I was, in the least to say, busy. I am needless to say that Varun was quite helpful to me. He is constantly asking me to express myself. I am pretty much scared of her, but that fear has reduced a little bit. Anyways, who doesn't like a bit of music in a graveyard!
HAHAHA!! I want to laugh out aloud! I must be seeming to you like a human chameleon, but then, I am that way! The sole purpose of me writing this diary is just that I want someone to whom I can speak out to. Nobody wants to hear about someone else, with the exception that I can spend whole of my life hearing HER! (aaw! come on! that was just madness!!) You must be wondering that I should be a politician!. I have some thoughts on Diwali (to change the topic, I was just too messed up to continue). This is supposed to be a festival of lights, right? Well, it seems to me like a festival of all types of pollution to me!. I hope this cracker business is certainly crapped up for good! Otherwise, we are already heading to making this planet as freaking polluted as it can get!
Friday, January 19, 2007
THE LAST WEEK
well, now i sit down here, leaving my physical education studies to write another entry.
first of all, i love blogging....this way of expressing myself leaves me empty. it drains out my loneliness. this blogging is a very nice experience. you'll know what it means once you do it too!
anyways......to recapitulate.....lets start off with monday
1. MONDAY
Monday was indeed a terrible day. I had my chemistry exam that day, and if you know me, you would guess that chemistry is not my cup of tea. Apart from logical reasoning questions, I simply flunk chemistry! Anyways, lazily i woke up at 7 AM. I had slept the other night at 4:30, so this was quite a task! I hazily brushed my teeth, took a quick bath (my parent don't know this), and i was wide awake. I put on my school clothes, and was ready in a jiffy. Then, as pre-planned, i took my chemistry NCERT book, and sat on my couch, and began fumbling with the pages. Recently, in two years, I have devised a new way of revision. Nowadays, i pick up my book, and open up a page at random, and see whether I know those topics or not. In my chemistry book, i have premarked the topics which I have understood. Those are the ones which are purely logic based. This is the reason why i adore physical chemistry so much. I never learn a formula, I derive it in the examination room.......as I don't know much of the paper, I have plenty of time to make sure I do correctly, what i can. Anyways.....then, I set off for school. In the school, most of my friends were behind their books, reading. As always, I head towards Bailey, Viren, Lalli, Mulla, or whoever is available in that order. That day, bailey was sitting on his prescribed desk, reading coordination compounds. Viren was loafing around, looing so tense, as he had started preparation after coming to school! But, he's always tense.......and that's a wonderful trait. Be it on the football field, or (as almost every time) with a novel, he's too much involved.....it is like life and death to him! He gets emotional when reading a book. I'll quote on incident
once, we were in the library attending our much awaited library period. As always, viren chose his corner.....much away from girls and other people, and sat on the farthermost chair in that corner. The first fifteen minutes...i spent reading about black holes (i love that topic). But then, I moved towards Sahil, who was studying some chapter of physics from a VMC module. Rishik joined us, and was helping us solve a problem. Suddenly, viren came up behind us, and smacked rishik's head. He was angry and said, "You bloody muslims are very wicked! You destroyed the city of jerusalem...god will never forgive you!" well, i think this gives you an idea of his involvement in his novels!
anyways, my chemistry paper went unexceptionally well that day. I am expecting a little more than 30 this time, out of 70. We were discussing the paper, and when it was time, i dispatched for home. Chemistry paper marked the end of the difficult papers for me. We now had a clumsy English and an even more clumsy physical education paper left. still, these do count as marks, so i had to study for them. When I reached home, as usual, nobody was home, I threw away my clothes, my bags, and other things aside; and switched on my PC. I have an addiction for music. I just cannot concentrate without music. And once music is on, I just can't stop singing along with it! So, whenever I am doing a very difficult topic, I sit around the terrace of my house, and try to memorize things. As i already quoted, I hate memorizing. I mean, what have I gotta do if benzene is reacting with chlorine at different temperatures? This is truly illogical. This has no application in normal day to day life, unless you are a geek and deliberately make things appear in your day to day life. Sahil's one of them. He has a certain number of short chits stuck up on the inside of his cupboard, on which reactions and mechanisms, and god knows what has been written. There are some things in chemistry that i can't even pronounce properly, and that guy has memorized it all. But I never wished that i had a photographic memory like Sahil's. He just gives a peep at a page, and he can tell you the name of the tree from which the paper was made out of!
weird, eh? well, talk to him, and you'll get to know. Anyways.....i have to return again and again to my day's work. In the evening, as usual, i went to play football for an hour. This is the most wonderful hour in my day. I can let my spirit wander freely. I wont go into the details of football, because some readers might find it pretty boring. Anyways, the rest of the day passed as it is....nothing new happening. I started the english syllabus at around 11:45 PM that day, and i finished it around 4:30 AM in the night. Being a lone child, I enjoy privacy more than anyone else does in this world. And then, of course, i slept it off.
2. TUESDAY
I had to wake up earlier than ever before on tuesday. I woke up at 7 AM, due to unknown reasons. There are some times, when I just wake up, start to smile.....as happy moments pass me by. I cherish them, as morning is the most happiest time of the day. I hate crows cackling around, drowning the sweet voice of birds, sitting around and chirping happily. I've had this feeling many times before. Sometimes, birds gather around the space in my balcony, and start chirping loudly. But whenever I try to get near one of them, perhaps scared by my face, they hurry away. So, i never approach them. Anyways, I usually sleep again at 8, just to wake up again at 10. By that time, my parents usually leave and they do not return home until late. You must be thinking that I lead a lonely life, but thats not so. My friends have made it worth living, and for that i thank them, especially Bailey and Viren, they are just too awesome. Bailey does try to pull my leg sometimes, but i actually enjoy it. He teases me all around if i am chatting with someone, or am exchanging my views on some topics (I'll be vague here because i don't people to raise any ideas). I don't remember anything about tuesday, except for the fact that I finished the most difficult topic of all time, SHM (Simple Harmonic Motion). I'll continue with more relevant days in my next post...
first of all, i love blogging....this way of expressing myself leaves me empty. it drains out my loneliness. this blogging is a very nice experience. you'll know what it means once you do it too!
anyways......to recapitulate.....lets start off with monday
1. MONDAY
Monday was indeed a terrible day. I had my chemistry exam that day, and if you know me, you would guess that chemistry is not my cup of tea. Apart from logical reasoning questions, I simply flunk chemistry! Anyways, lazily i woke up at 7 AM. I had slept the other night at 4:30, so this was quite a task! I hazily brushed my teeth, took a quick bath (my parent don't know this), and i was wide awake. I put on my school clothes, and was ready in a jiffy. Then, as pre-planned, i took my chemistry NCERT book, and sat on my couch, and began fumbling with the pages. Recently, in two years, I have devised a new way of revision. Nowadays, i pick up my book, and open up a page at random, and see whether I know those topics or not. In my chemistry book, i have premarked the topics which I have understood. Those are the ones which are purely logic based. This is the reason why i adore physical chemistry so much. I never learn a formula, I derive it in the examination room.......as I don't know much of the paper, I have plenty of time to make sure I do correctly, what i can. Anyways.....then, I set off for school. In the school, most of my friends were behind their books, reading. As always, I head towards Bailey, Viren, Lalli, Mulla, or whoever is available in that order. That day, bailey was sitting on his prescribed desk, reading coordination compounds. Viren was loafing around, looing so tense, as he had started preparation after coming to school! But, he's always tense.......and that's a wonderful trait. Be it on the football field, or (as almost every time) with a novel, he's too much involved.....it is like life and death to him! He gets emotional when reading a book. I'll quote on incident
once, we were in the library attending our much awaited library period. As always, viren chose his corner.....much away from girls and other people, and sat on the farthermost chair in that corner. The first fifteen minutes...i spent reading about black holes (i love that topic). But then, I moved towards Sahil, who was studying some chapter of physics from a VMC module. Rishik joined us, and was helping us solve a problem. Suddenly, viren came up behind us, and smacked rishik's head. He was angry and said, "You bloody muslims are very wicked! You destroyed the city of jerusalem...god will never forgive you!" well, i think this gives you an idea of his involvement in his novels!
anyways, my chemistry paper went unexceptionally well that day. I am expecting a little more than 30 this time, out of 70. We were discussing the paper, and when it was time, i dispatched for home. Chemistry paper marked the end of the difficult papers for me. We now had a clumsy English and an even more clumsy physical education paper left. still, these do count as marks, so i had to study for them. When I reached home, as usual, nobody was home, I threw away my clothes, my bags, and other things aside; and switched on my PC. I have an addiction for music. I just cannot concentrate without music. And once music is on, I just can't stop singing along with it! So, whenever I am doing a very difficult topic, I sit around the terrace of my house, and try to memorize things. As i already quoted, I hate memorizing. I mean, what have I gotta do if benzene is reacting with chlorine at different temperatures? This is truly illogical. This has no application in normal day to day life, unless you are a geek and deliberately make things appear in your day to day life. Sahil's one of them. He has a certain number of short chits stuck up on the inside of his cupboard, on which reactions and mechanisms, and god knows what has been written. There are some things in chemistry that i can't even pronounce properly, and that guy has memorized it all. But I never wished that i had a photographic memory like Sahil's. He just gives a peep at a page, and he can tell you the name of the tree from which the paper was made out of!
weird, eh? well, talk to him, and you'll get to know. Anyways.....i have to return again and again to my day's work. In the evening, as usual, i went to play football for an hour. This is the most wonderful hour in my day. I can let my spirit wander freely. I wont go into the details of football, because some readers might find it pretty boring. Anyways, the rest of the day passed as it is....nothing new happening. I started the english syllabus at around 11:45 PM that day, and i finished it around 4:30 AM in the night. Being a lone child, I enjoy privacy more than anyone else does in this world. And then, of course, i slept it off.
2. TUESDAY
I had to wake up earlier than ever before on tuesday. I woke up at 7 AM, due to unknown reasons. There are some times, when I just wake up, start to smile.....as happy moments pass me by. I cherish them, as morning is the most happiest time of the day. I hate crows cackling around, drowning the sweet voice of birds, sitting around and chirping happily. I've had this feeling many times before. Sometimes, birds gather around the space in my balcony, and start chirping loudly. But whenever I try to get near one of them, perhaps scared by my face, they hurry away. So, i never approach them. Anyways, I usually sleep again at 8, just to wake up again at 10. By that time, my parents usually leave and they do not return home until late. You must be thinking that I lead a lonely life, but thats not so. My friends have made it worth living, and for that i thank them, especially Bailey and Viren, they are just too awesome. Bailey does try to pull my leg sometimes, but i actually enjoy it. He teases me all around if i am chatting with someone, or am exchanging my views on some topics (I'll be vague here because i don't people to raise any ideas). I don't remember anything about tuesday, except for the fact that I finished the most difficult topic of all time, SHM (Simple Harmonic Motion). I'll continue with more relevant days in my next post...
I LET GO
Sometimes.......when I feel that I am alone......I often talk to my shadow. That's my all time companion; but you do need someone to talk to, dontcha?
so i constantly try to get someone to talk with me. This is truly opposite to my personality, I am a bit reserved in unknown company, then be it the girl whom I appreciate the most! Well, life goes on.....time heals everything. I pass time with myself, I see many messages such as "who do you think of when you hear a song.....and things like that" but i don't really care about these now. All that is on my mind now is to get a nice placement. I think i am over burdening myself. I am overstraining myself . I have tried to merge myself with the incorrigible education system present in India. I have let logic be prevailed by knowledge. I hate cramming....and i am totally against it. But thats what I am doing! just for freaking marks! I need to get the life of mine in order. I created this blog to talk with myself more, rather than telling the world about myself. There come times when i begin to hate myself, there are times when I want to end it all; but then i consider this as an act of timidness. I am not afraid to face life. If I was, you would probably not be reading this blog of mine! I am too scared to do things, I am laid back.....I need more people around me....I never want to break the ice in unknown company; even with a damn beautiful girl!
I have many weaknesses, I have negativities......but some people do find some things nice in me. Well, I don't, and I don't think if I ever will be able to. I usually talk to my football. Its a normal living person with feelings. I feel that the ball can feel me, it listens to me, it understands my needs, and I can make it feel me. Sometimes, the ball just lands onto my feet, I never even try to get it, most of the times, the rebound from the wall, from the post, the drop ball, rolls out to me ..... and i always utter a word of thanks. I dunno if it is Jesus helping me out, or is it just coincidence, because I don't believe in fate.
I have a sharp brain. But I just can't make it work in the right direction. My mind's too crowded with things that are inexplicable. I mean, who would like to answer questions such as "what made the three quarks combine to form a proton?" "what keeps them together?" what does a baby bird feel, when we take away its mother?" does it wanna cry? does it know what it going on?"
I am a true believer of Einstein. I follow his ideals and principles. I need to solve some problems arisen in my mind. I hate the saying, "questioning denotes a confused state of mind, (sorry bade bhaiyya)...... i rather feel that "questioning is an excited state of mind....which is unstable". Rather than keeping it in that position, or waiting for an outside force to work on it, we need to carry out the needful ourselves. This is the topmost priority because nobody else, can understand how you are feeling at that moment.
Some people say that many minds at work, always increase productivity. I have different views. I rather feel that, the negativity of the minds collect and can provide hindrance in your path. Whenever you feel something can be done....the whole world conspires for you to achieve it (the alchemist-love that book). I believe in the triple ideals of dream, work and achieve. My stage of dreaming is over, and now, I am out to achieve something.....the world better look out.....because a certain weirdo named saksham, is out to explore the world.....to limits....which have no limits!
so i constantly try to get someone to talk with me. This is truly opposite to my personality, I am a bit reserved in unknown company, then be it the girl whom I appreciate the most! Well, life goes on.....time heals everything. I pass time with myself, I see many messages such as "who do you think of when you hear a song.....and things like that" but i don't really care about these now. All that is on my mind now is to get a nice placement. I think i am over burdening myself. I am overstraining myself . I have tried to merge myself with the incorrigible education system present in India. I have let logic be prevailed by knowledge. I hate cramming....and i am totally against it. But thats what I am doing! just for freaking marks! I need to get the life of mine in order. I created this blog to talk with myself more, rather than telling the world about myself. There come times when i begin to hate myself, there are times when I want to end it all; but then i consider this as an act of timidness. I am not afraid to face life. If I was, you would probably not be reading this blog of mine! I am too scared to do things, I am laid back.....I need more people around me....I never want to break the ice in unknown company; even with a damn beautiful girl!
I have many weaknesses, I have negativities......but some people do find some things nice in me. Well, I don't, and I don't think if I ever will be able to. I usually talk to my football. Its a normal living person with feelings. I feel that the ball can feel me, it listens to me, it understands my needs, and I can make it feel me. Sometimes, the ball just lands onto my feet, I never even try to get it, most of the times, the rebound from the wall, from the post, the drop ball, rolls out to me ..... and i always utter a word of thanks. I dunno if it is Jesus helping me out, or is it just coincidence, because I don't believe in fate.
I have a sharp brain. But I just can't make it work in the right direction. My mind's too crowded with things that are inexplicable. I mean, who would like to answer questions such as "what made the three quarks combine to form a proton?" "what keeps them together?" what does a baby bird feel, when we take away its mother?" does it wanna cry? does it know what it going on?"
I am a true believer of Einstein. I follow his ideals and principles. I need to solve some problems arisen in my mind. I hate the saying, "questioning denotes a confused state of mind, (sorry bade bhaiyya)...... i rather feel that "questioning is an excited state of mind....which is unstable". Rather than keeping it in that position, or waiting for an outside force to work on it, we need to carry out the needful ourselves. This is the topmost priority because nobody else, can understand how you are feeling at that moment.
Some people say that many minds at work, always increase productivity. I have different views. I rather feel that, the negativity of the minds collect and can provide hindrance in your path. Whenever you feel something can be done....the whole world conspires for you to achieve it (the alchemist-love that book). I believe in the triple ideals of dream, work and achieve. My stage of dreaming is over, and now, I am out to achieve something.....the world better look out.....because a certain weirdo named saksham, is out to explore the world.....to limits....which have no limits!
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